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Quisque velit nisi, pretium ut lacinia in, elementum id enim. Sed porttitor lectus nibh. Curabitur aliquet quam id dui posuere blandit. Donec sollicitudin molestie malesuada. Curabitur aliquet quam id dui posuere blandit. Proin eget tortor risus. Donec rutrum congue leo eget malesuada. Pellentesque in ipsum id orci porta dapibus. Quisque velit nisi, pretium ut lacinia in, elementum id enim.

Donec rutrum congue leo eget malesuada. Vestibulum ac diam sit amet quam vehicula elementum sed sit amet dui. Cras ultricies ligula sed magna dictum porta. Vivamus suscipit tortor eget felis porttitor volutpat. Mauris blandit aliquet elit, eget tincidunt nibh pulvinar a. Vivamus magna justo, lacinia eget consectetur sed, convallis at tellus. Vestibulum ac diam sit amet quam vehicula elementum sed sit amet dui. Donec rutrum congue leo eget malesuada. Praesent sapien massa, convallis a pellentesque nec, egestas non nisi.

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Amanda’s Spot
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The Weight of Depression

No one talks about how heavy depression feels on your body. It is sudden as if a boulder fell on my body. It is painful to move even an inch most days. I feel as if I have to use all of my strength just to get out of bed. I have to give myself a pep talk to get a glass of water. Doing the most mundane task can feel like running a marathon when you have never run more than a mile before.

The worst part about depression is the unknown.

My most depressive episodes are entirely unknown. I can go from having the best day, week, or month and then wake up one day and feel the weight of the world on me. Every time I am hit with a wave of depression it feels worse than the last, but somehow a familiar feeling all at the same time. I try to remember how long the last episode felt or how I pulled myself out of it, but I never have an answer for myself.

It is a defeating feeling.

I am fighting with myself and getting my butt kicked every time. I hate having to fight, but I do it every time because I want to. I have dreams and goals for my life that I would be devastated if I never achieved them. I have accomplished so many goals that I never thought were possible and that is what keeps me going in life. I find myself pushing for bigger and better after each accomplishment.